There was a time when mornings in our house felt like walking into a storm. Shoes were missing, breakfast was a battle, and almost every transition came with resistance, sometimes full-on screaming for simple things, like getting dressed or leaving the house; Talk about full-blown crises.
But what was really happening, unbeknownst to me, was that my child didn’t know what to expect next. Nothing felt certain or safe. And when you experience the world differently, louder, brighter, faster, more overwhelming, not knowing what comes next can feel like standing on quicksand.
Predictability isn't just about having a routine, it's about giving a child’s nervous system a break. When the brain knows what to expect, it doesn’t stay in fight-or-flight mode. It can rest, process information more calmly, and move through transitions without panic.
For kids with autism or sensory processing differences, unpredictability can feel threatening. Sudden changes in sound, environment, people, or tasks can set off confusion, fear, or overwhelm. Predictability is like a soft place to land, it gives them control in a world that often feels like too much.
Without structure, the day becomes a guessing game. And for a child who already feels the world differently, that can be terrifying. There’s no clear start or end to anything, so every transition feels like a surprise attack. This can look like:
Tantrums or shutdowns over simple transitions
Refusal to do tasks they’ve done a hundred times
Emotional outbursts that seem to come out of nowhere
But often, those behaviors are communication. They’re telling us, “I’m overwhelmed. I don’t feel safe.”
OUR HUGE helper has been a visual schedule on the fridge. Showing first comes breakfast, then playtime, then a walk, and later a snack. Even if something changes, you let them know ahead of time and remind them what’s next.
With that level of structure, you’ll start to see:
Less resistance at transitions
Fewer meltdowns
A calmer, more connected day
Confidence from your child because they feel more in control
The Power of Preparing for Unexpected Changes
Of course, no matter how structured you are, life throws curveballs. The power goes out. Plans get cancelled. A visitor shows up early. For children who depend on predictability, these moments can trigger confusion, frustration, or fear.
But with practice, and the right tools, we can help them learn to handle change with a little more grace. Here’s how:
Talk about change ahead of time whenever you can. Use simple language: “Sometimes things don’t go the way we planned.”
Use visual supports like a question mark card or a “change” icon on a schedule to signal something unexpected.
Have a fallback routine for when things don’t go as planned: a quiet time, a favorite activity, or a calming sensory break.
Name the feeling for them: “It’s okay to feel upset when things change.”
Model flexibility out loud: “I was hoping to go for a walk too. It’s hard when plans change, but we can try something else.”
Start Building Predictability at Home with one part of your day: morning, bedtime, or after school. Keep it simple.
Use a visual schedule (hand-drawn or printed) to outline the day
Stick to consistent routines for meals, bedtime, and transitions
Give 5- or 10-minute warnings before transitions
Use "first/then" language: “First we brush teeth, then we read.”
I just needed to meet my child where he was at. By creating predictable rhythms, I helped build a sense of safety in his day. And that safety is giving him the freedom to grow, regulate, and thrive.
